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  • Anxious Poets Society

PANIC ATTACKS


I attack my panic tonight at 9-paper view ESPN, coming to you live. Sad Sav steps in the ring, fists clenched-fighting for the belt. Her record is not looking good but I hear she asked for help. In her corner tonight is an all-star team of positive thoughts, taking a walk,

and deep breathing. But her opponent is fierce - undefeated, mountebank, and relentless. A household name and a heavy weight champion. In its corner it has depression, and Ms. Addiction the Temptress. This is a new game for them; they usually prey on the defenseless. Round 1 - the ref dictates, “I want to see a fair fight, no childhood memories or repressed feelings, and definitely no knives. Lets keep it in the present with no interruptions. See it through to the end- Here we go 3... 2...1” BIG BOOM BAM The fight begins, panic attacks - swift and technical. Sav tries to fend off by keeping her breathing regular. Sav retorts by playing her favorite jams and she begins mediations, But the moment is compromised with chromatic disassociation. Panic is playing dirty, holds up Sav by the collar. She’s shaking and convulsing, panic has all the power. Panic throws a detrimental uppercut of cognitive distortions. A right left jab to the chest when mom says that her reaction is out of proportion.

Sav’s mind is aborting, and her body’s contorting. She thinks that she’s dying, uncontrollable crying. Now panic comes with the knock out - provoking self hatred. The ref calls it, Panic is proud of the disorder it has created.

Sav recovers in fifteen minutes and carries on with her life. In the back of her mind she worries about the inevitable next fight.

 

Sav is a poet working on a full book outside of Richmond, Va. She uses poetry as an outlet to verbalize her issues regarding severe anxiety, major depression, OCD, PTSD, and substance abuse.

#panic #live #sad #fists #breathing #fierce #depression #addiction #fight #knives #childhood #memories #attacks #moment #dirty #distortions #dying #crying #disorder #mind

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