The task is finding out where you went wrong instead of why And explaining it over and over in perfect detail to another expert.
You’ve learned to carry your insurance card like you carry your license So when you faint in public There's one less thing to worry about.
On weekends you monitor what you eat, on outings you can't eat.
And when you're sick of it
You go back and explain
Describing on five different forms what you had for lunch vs Sitting in a dark room Explaining what went wrong on vacation.
You lay in bed with a prescription of pills that You've learned to swallow with nothing.
Here come the forms again.
No one is listening anymore.
You go in for lab tests and the results never get back to you.
The analysis is why. Why it happened to you. Why you were the only one that felt it. Why you let it happen to you. Why you didn't take care of yourself When you had the chance to.
And the conclusion is That you can always start again, now.
Heidi Miranda is a poet based in Bakersfield, California, who writes about mental illness and the brutal reality of it. She describes her poetry as having a tone that feels distant but still emotional.