In silence with myself, every word and every sentence ricochets off the walls from the outside is the multidimensional reality that calls
The multidimensional reality where to some my lips speak gospel but to others speaks transgression
The piercing loud reality where I’m left with the bitter truth and desperate lonely aggression
Out of love with myself, The shattered distractions come hurdling fast into the crevices of my soul I lay on the floor and scramble for the pieces hoping to finally feel whole
The aching want to feel whole that resonates throughout my fragile bones The frantic need to be something more as I hungrily swallow these stones
In chaos with myself, I let you slip from my fingertips and watch you cascade across white tile I erratically fall back into memories and return to fucking bile
The bile that angrily ropes me in and keeps me in its grasp The intoxicating grasp along my neck that leaves my voice to a rasp
At crossroads with myself, I ask whether or not this beating heart inside me matters I look to those who look for me and I’m supposed to say yes, it's worth it, right?
Despite everything in front of me I cannot touch it I’m looking in the mirror and suddenly I’m not so sure
I’m not so sure
Mel O. Muell is a teenager from Wisconsin who enjoys film, history, art, and politics. She loves to connect with other people and wants to make a change in the world someday.