Heartswings by Marc Krell
My heart ticks endlessly
To an irregular beat
Like a grandfather clock
With countless pendulums.
The momentum sways
To an unsteady rhythm
As the pendulums swing
Each with their own flow.
All together they are deafening
As each tock fills the space
That otherwise would exist an empty sound.
So if you listen closely
You can see the moment
Where the momentum needs to reverse.
It was inevitable
The turning of the tide
But you are the moon
And if you don’t pay attention
You’ll let it swing much too far.
My hands are sore
My knuckles bloody
Ignoring the pain has a limit
When you’re punching a brick wall.
But damn that wall is inconvenient
I wish it wasn’t there.
I don’t know who erected it
But I know it’s getting in the way of us.
I wish you could help
Just removing one brick would be enough for me to lay eyes on you
And maybe that would give me the strength I need
But you can’t even do that.
Maybe there are three more walls I don’t know about
And maybe you just think I’m the big bad wolf.
No wonder it’s so damn sturdy.
But my hands are my tools
And if I give them up for you
Then I won’t be any good to anyone.
‘You’re so nourishing’
Those words brought down with them a beam of pride
They were true for some time
Until it seems they weren’t.
The truth is
I was nourishing you from the source.
The energy meant for me.
I was nourishing
Right up to the moment when I had needs of my own.
And then it became clear
How unsustainable it would be
To have two un-nourished people.
And how scared she is—
The little girl who lives inside of you.
After moving to a new community and finding an open mic to meet people, Marc was soon inspired to release his insights and frustration through writing poetry. These are some of the first words that came out.